Today I went to a formerly close friend’s house to get a haircut. She is a good stylist and my last trip to Best Cuts was a butchering. We were chatting away while she was snipping at the unruly mop on my head and all was fine. I began to internally question myself for backing off from the friendship but then it happened… She stated support for Donald Trump!
It all started with a conversation about healthcare and how my premium went up this year. I was a little disappointed but I did point out that under pre-ACA, my bill was still higher 3 years ago than what I’m paying now. Plus, I can’t be kicked off because of my preexisting Fibromyalgia. So she went on a rant about a friend who died from cancer and said that her insurance probably didn’t pay for the ongoing treatments. A few minutes later, she said this same friend had a bad immune system, the doctors knew she was going to die, and they put her through the pain of chemo just to get money. So which is it? The doctors should have done nothing or they should have done everything? (I wish I could just say these things out loud in the moment the conversation is going on. I spend way too much time being shocked and stunned by other people’s statements.) So tiring of Obama-bashing, she said the whole system needs torn down and started fresh. I quietly countered that Medicare went through the same troubles when it first started and Republicans fought it every step of the way. ACA will be the same, it takes time for it to be tweaked and changed for the better. Besides, it’s already better than what we had.
Next, she brings up the evil Muslims coming into this country unchecked. I pointed out that the actual vetting takes 2 years. (At this point, she seems to be getting annoyed with my calm explanations of fact.) She claimed Trump has the right idea and HE is getting people talking. She did state that she doesn’t approve of his business practices and thinks he’s arrogant. But back to those nasty immigrants: She complains that it’s not like Ellis Island all those years ago- those people WANTED to be Americans. They learned our language and adopted our ways. (She claimed that since she worked with the public, she knows these new immigrants don’t care about America.) “They talk to each other in their own language so you don’t know what they are saying and they laugh at you for being a stupid American who only knows English.”
First of all, she has this notion that I have lived under a rock all my life. Um, I’ve worked retail, I worked at an airport, I had my own business with employees, I’ve traveled to 5 other countries… She has only known me during the last 8-9 years of my life, after I got Fibromyalgia and couldn’t work a normal job or travel like I used to.
Second of all, maybe she IS a stupid American who barely knows English herself! After all, she thinks Trump is “on to something“!
It is generally difficult for adults to learn new languages. My sister is currently teaching me sign language and it’s hard to remember all the signs. That is how I actually calmed the situation down, telling her about the difficulty I am experiencing in learning sign. It is useless to try to argue with the woman. She is 8 years older than me so she automatically assumes I’m less than she is in some way.
I don’t know how she could be so gung-ho for Obama back in 2008 and supportive of Trump now. Is it because she is not hanging out with me anymore? Was she pretending just to be on my good side? Did she have a severe blow to the head that I don’t know about?
Anyway, I totally made the right choice in backing off from the friendship. Now I just have to find a new hair stylist.